Welcome to a fresh new start at the ‘Discipline & Love’ forums.
After a three month hiatus at the D & L forums, we have decided that it's about time we opened up our doors again. We genuinely hope that you will enjoy your time there, but there are some new conditions attached to this. It is obviously your choice whether or not you choose to accept these and continue to participate in our discussions, but we would like our members to know that these are conditions that *will* be enforced at the discretion of the admin team, when and how we consider it necessary.
Anyone who has a problem with something we do, or do not do, is welcome to discuss it privately with us, but, although we will always listen, we do not guarantee to reverse a decision and will only do so if we consider it appropriate under the particular circumstances. As always we will try to be fair and reasonable, but may sometimes have to act for what we see as the greater good.
It is the mission of 'D & L' to explore and try to understand the broader spectrum of consensual Dominant/submissive relationships as a way of life. This encompasses anything from a 'basic' DD relationship in which one partner submits to the authority of the other in given circumstances, through anything in between, to 'total power exchange' relationships in which one partner holds complete control over the other.
Although, in an intimate relationship, there will often be a sexual element to this and it is quite acceptable to talk about how this fits into the whole, in the context of this blog and forum our discussions are centred around D/s as a committed way of life between two people and *not* as something that consists solely of part time sexually based role play that has no connection with the way in which a couple interacts in everyday life. While that can have its legitimate place, that place is not 'D & L'. This does not mean that we have the unrealistic expectation that every facet of a person's life will directly and overtly involve D/s, but that the underlying commitment to D/s between two partners is something that is always there and cannot be randomly switched off.
We fully accept and understand that each couple is unique and that needs, wants and aims will vary considerably from couple to couple, which means that something that appeals to and works for one couple, may be entirely wrong for another. However, while we welcome respectful and educational discussion, questions, opinions, debate and even reasonable disagreement about another's way of doing things and we are happy to hear why you feel that that something would not be a good fit for you, we do not accept that it is in any way necessary to judge, negatively second guess, insult or put down someone else, whether directly or indirectly, or by means of snide remarks or veiled digs at individuals or groups of people, because their opinion or real life experiences are different from your own. If we consider that this is happening, the admin team will act on it.
Remember that, although the posts on a forum may look like simply words on a page, they are nevertheless written and posted by people who are no less real and capable of feelings than you, your 'real life' family, friends, neighbours and work colleagues. The fact that here we are opening up about one of the most intimate areas of our lives increases, rather than decreases, the potential for hurt and problems.
In conclusion, our expectation as a team is that the people here will treat others and their chosen way of life with respect and tolerance and that, if they have nothing positive, useful or helpful to add to a discussion and only wish to negatively criticise, contradict, or insult, they will make the decision not to add to it at all.
With those provisions, which we believe to be perfectly reasonable and achievable, we wish you a happy, safe and productive time at 'Discipline & Love'. Don't forget that, in addition to the forum discussions, among many other things, we have a live on site mini-chat, a facility for making personal blogs which you can choose to keep private or make visible and/or open to comments by the other members, extensive DD and other resources, links to other sites and resources, a storyboard and picture book and slideshow poser toon stories by Overbarrel.
I would also like to take this opportunity to welcome Damien, who has kindly agreed to redress the balance by adding the first ever Dominant element to our admin team. He joins with his sub HisElizabeth and has posted his introduction on the forums here:
Regards to all. We are glad to be back.
The Admin Team at 'Discipline & Love'.